Parenting tips

Less parenting is better parenting. Instruct less. They will listen when we instruct less.

Don't be harsh when they make mistakes. They will be scared to make mistakes. Mistakes are opportunities to grow. Confident kids are not those who do not make mistakes. Confident kids are those who are not scared to make mistakes.

When your child is loud, angry, and disrespectful, Do you get louder, angrier, and even more disrespectful? Don't compete with them. Regulate your emotions and show them better behaviors. Be calm and firm in your reply. Breathe and regulate your emotions. Children learn from us. To raise emotionally intelligent children be a model. Name your feeling and describe how you feel and how you deal with it and tell them that it will get better in some time.

Children stop listening to you either because they don't feel good about the way you respond or because you instruct too much.

Never tell them that everything will be okay but tell them that we all feel bad at times but we can feel better by sipping cold water and hugging ourselves. When we validate their fears, they will deal with it better.

They talk and behave experimenting every day. Learning is a lifelong process and so is parenting. One talk or behavior of our child does tell nothing about me.

When they hit you. Stop them but don't reciprocate. Empathetically tell them "We can be too angry but we still cannot hurt anybody." 

They will become resilient when we become resilient.

They are sponges and absorb everything that you say and do. They have mirror neurons. They become what we are.

They have to tolerate frustration and discomfort. Don't entertain them with screens.

Children watching fast-changing reels on YouTube make them impatient, aggressive, and impulsive and affects their sleep. Their brain cannot handle fast-changing videos. Only show the age-appropriate videos.

When they are angry. they are not being disrespectful. They are feeling unheard and powerless, disconnected and unsafe. This is how they communicate.

When they get 9, they will start arguing. They are going to be adolescents and adults. Stop poking on brushing and keeping the room clean. Spare space for more topics that are coming drugs, late-night parties, and sex. Make rules by discussing with them. They are about to make rules for themselves.

You do not have to be perfect but you have to be healthy and real.

1. Play with your children for 30 minutes without distractions. Leave your phone away.
2. Keep patience and do not get irritated. Check your tone while you talk with them.
3. Choose your fights and stop correcting them. You do not have to beat every discussion. They can make their own decisions.
4. Be more positive when you talk with them. Say" You are so kind."

How not to be a bad guy despite putting boundaries in screeentime, junk food, and homework

1. Randomly say " Why do I like you so much, why are you so good."
2. Tell him," You are my heart."
3. Ask for a hug.

As a parent, you cannot make them always happy. But you can allow them to feel all the feelings and validate them. As a parent, you cannot solve all their problems. But you can stand by them while they are facing their problems. As a parent, you cannot give in to all their demands. But you can say no and stand to empathize with their disappointments. 

A good parent is not one who sacrifices, but one who balances self-care while being a parent. A good parent is one who keeps their children always happy, but one who lets them feel all their emotions without judgment. A good parent is not one whose children do not misbehave but one who does not misbehave with their children but is calm and firm.

 Excerpts- Ishinna B. Sadana