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Koans

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1. What was your face before you were born? This question from Hakuin Zenji is often the first barrier in Rinzai Zen. It asks the practitioner to look prior to identity, memory, and form. It points not to a physical face but to the fundamental, unborn source of awareness itself—one’s original nature. No intellectual answer suffices; the koan demands a dropping away of the thinking mind to realize what is present before and after all coming and going. 2. What is it that is not a thing, not the mind, and not the Buddha? This koan systematically strips away every possible conceptual handle. It negates the external world (not a thing), the internal world (not the mind), and even the highest spiritual ideal (not the Buddha). It leaves the mind nowhere to stand, forcing a leap into the unnameable, immediate reality that precedes all categories. It points directly to absolute suchness, free of all designation. 3. Mu (Joshu’s Dog) = Neti Neti A monk asked Joshu (Zhaozhou), “Does a dog have Bud...
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My notes from MBSR

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9 attitudes of mindfulness. It is an active lifelong process. There is no enlightenment or a state of permanent wisdom. It is the gradual cultivation of the following attitudes.  Beginner's Mind Non-judging Non-striving: Not doing but being. Being with the unfolding of life moment to moment without having any agenda. Acceptance Letting go: (means letting be when evidence suggests they have already been), eg, Monkey traps itself by grasping the banana in a cage. It's just like our breath. If we do not release our breath, we cannot take the next breath. Trust: Just like we trust that our cells, organs, and systems take care of themselves. Why can't we trust our brains and hearts? Our brain trusts in letting go, so it sleeps. Patience: Things will unfold in their own time, and we cannot hurry. It's because we are never really present, anytime and anywhere. Gratitude: Generosity: It enhances interconnectedness.
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Goenka Vipassana (10 day course lecture notes)

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1. True Dhamma is a practical, experiential path of purification through self-observation. It is non-sectarian. True Dhamma is not about blind belief, intellectual understanding, or philosophical debate. It is about the direct experience of the mind-matter phenomenon within oneself. True dharma is what gives us peace when we bear it. It breaks the habit pattern of blind reaction (sankhāra) and gives one freedom from misery. Laboratory of the Body: Our own body is the laboratory for investigating the Dhamma. You don't need to believe in scriptures or a teacher. You can verify the truth for yourself by observing the interplay of sensations and your reactions to them within your own framework. The practice of Vipassana is the direct method to realize true Dhamma. It involves: Breathwork for concentration. Scanning the body: Systematically observing bodily sensations with equanimity. Developing Equanimity (Upekkhā): The most crucial aspect. The goal is not to crave pleasant sensations...
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“Preparation Is My Safe Haven: The Neuropsychology of Why I Know Everything but Live Nothing”

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“Preparation Is My Safe Haven: The Neuropsychology of Why I Know Everything but Live Nothing” Preparation Is Safe. Living Is Not. I keep wondering why I have spent years preparing for a life of happiness, well-being, spirituality, mindfulness—reading deeply, reflecting endlessly—yet remain unable to change even a single habit or thought pattern. Instead, I slide into anxiety. This is not a failure of intelligence or insight. It is a predictable outcome of how the human brain is wired. Preparation feels perfect because it carries zero existential risk . You cannot fail while preparing. You cannot be rejected. You cannot be exposed. But living—actually doing—requires vulnerability, imperfection, and uncertainty. And the brain’s primary job is not truth or fulfillment. It is survival . So my brain chooses safety over aliveness. Intellectualization: When Insight Becomes a Sedative I realize now that I am addicted to knowledge without implementation , revelation without revolution. ...
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HALT, THINK, RAIN ; Pointlessness: Yet Why We Are Compelled to Repeat

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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new sights, but in looking with new eyes. - Marcel Proust, In search of lost time  
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Mindfulness is the new religion for the atheists: PCs Vs NPCs

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Just like in a video game where some characters are controlled by a player (PCs) and the rest operate automatically under programmed rules (NPCs), human life can be imagined to unfold in one of two broad conditions. Either there is a conscious “Player” — God, Brahman, Awareness, the Divine — guiding the movement of individuals much like a gamer directs an avatar, or life is functioning purely as a sophisticated program where thoughts, emotions, and decisions arise through genetics, neuroscience, and conditioning, just as NPCs follow their coded pathways without knowing they are doing so. If God or a higher consciousness is the Player, then what we call “my life” is more like a perspective within a larger intelligence. The body, mind, personality, preferences, and history become the visible form — the avatar — while consciousness behind the eyes is the true controller, the witness that experiences joy and suffering, love and loss, growth and transformation. In this view, free will exis...
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Quantum living

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Quantum Living  “When we are happy, we become energy; when we are sad, we become matter.” In states of happiness, the mind becomes light, spacious, radiant — like energy.  Energy flows, expands, connects, vibrates, and moves freely. When we feel joy, gratitude, inspiration, or love, we are in an energetic mode: open, alive, curious, and capable of touching others instantly — just like a quantum field. But when we are sad, burdened, or hurt, we become heavy — like matter.  Matter is dense, slow, fixed, and resistant. In emotional heaviness, the psyche collapses inward, solidifies, and becomes rigid. Our worries condense into shapes. Our fears gain weight. Our mind becomes a mass pressing against itself. And when matter presses against matter, compression happens — and depression forms.  The inner world loses movement. Thoughts collide. Feelings freeze. Everything feels like gravity — pulling inward, downward, deeper into contraction.  Notice your state: Are ...
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सन्ध्याको लाली and other poems

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  श्रिङ्गारको आयु छोटो हुन्छ भन्छन। हेर्दा हेर्दै सन्ध्याको लाली, खरनी भएछ।
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माइन्ड्फुल इटिङ

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माइन्ड्फुल इटिङ धनियाका पातहरु, आँख्ला आँख्ला र पात पातहरुमा कस्तो ज्यामिती मिलेको छ। कस्तो मिठो  सुबास त्यसको। आमाले गोलभेँडाको आचार बनाउँदा, दुगुर्दै बारीमा धनिया टिपेको याद आउँछ। झरी र हावामा कस्तरी हल्लिएका थिए होलान् , यी सागका पातहरु । घामिलो खेतमा, कस्तरी झुलेका थिए होलान् धानका सुनौला बालाहरु। बथान का बथान कस्तो मिठो कोरस गाउँथे होलान् , चल्ला र कुखुराहरु। दुगुर्दै गएर सबैलाई पछाडी पार्दै, उसैको टुप्पोले गँडेउला टिपेथ्यो होला। उ आफ्नो टिमकै ट्यालेन्ट र स्माट थियो होला। आज म उसकै हार्ड बोइल्ड आन्डा खाइरहेछु। आझै कर्णालीमा मान्छे भोकै छन् । के म पनि ट्यालेन्ट र स्माट भएछु? बर्षामा यी घिरौँलाका टुप्पाहरु बाट, टप्प टप्प पानी चुहिन्थ्यो होला। बजारमा किन्दा एउटै दाग थिएन, किसानले कति मायाले हुर्क्याएको थियो होला।
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Kashmiri Shaivism

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Kashmir Śaivism is one of the most profound non-dual (Advaita) traditions of Indian philosophy — a luminous synthesis of metaphysics, mysticism, and practical spirituality . It arose in medieval Kashmir (8th–12th century CE), particularly through the works of sages like Vasugupta , Utpaladeva , Abhinavagupta , and Kṣemarāja . Absolute Consciousness (Śiva) is All That Exists The ultimate reality is Śiva , pure, infinite Consciousness (Cit) — both transcendent and immanent . Everything you perceive — thought, object, emotion — is Śiva’s own vibration (Spanda) . The world is not an illusion (as in some Advaita Vedānta views), but a real expression of the divine consciousness. “Everything is Śiva, appearing as everything.” Spanda — The Divine Vibration The universe is not static; it’s dynamic pulsation of awareness . Every sensation, breath, emotion, and movement is Śiva’s throb of creative energy (Śakti). The yogi’s task is to attune to this subtle vibration — to feel...
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Yoga Sūtras of Patañjali

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The Yoga Sūtras of Patañjali are not just an ancient text but a remarkably precise manual for mental clarity, moral strength, and inner freedom. Below is a summary and secular interpretation , with practical implementation tips and reflective quotes suitable for modern daily life — physician, parent, or anyone seeking balance.  1. Samādhi Pāda — The Nature of Yoga “Yogaḥ citta-vṛtti-nirodhaḥ” Yoga is the stilling of the fluctuations of the mind. The mind continually ripples with thoughts, emotions, and perceptions ( vṛttis ). Through steady practice ( abhyāsa ) and detachment ( vairāgya ), these ripples quiet down, revealing pure awareness. Obstacles like doubt, laziness, restlessness, and disease disturb the path — to be countered with clarity, devotion, and discipline. 2. Sādhana Pāda — The Path of Practice “Tapas svādhyāya īśvara-praṇidhānāni kriyā-yogaḥ” Discipline, self-study, and surrender form the path of action. Introduces the Eight Limbs (Aṣṭāṅga Yog...
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Rilke's poetry: “The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.”

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Life is, after all, a story of Love. Love struggling in between the unformidable giants of fragility and mortality. Love's solace comes from its being a dreamer, a. dreamer of divine beauty and its eternal Presence. I find this echoed in the poems of  Rainer Maria Rilke (1875–1926), a Bohemian-Austrian poet, essayist, and novelist, one known for his most introspective, lyrical, and spiritually profound writings. He tries to transcend the human experience of love, art, solitude, suffering, and death as portals into the divine. Born in Prague, Rilke grew up in a strict Catholic household but was drawn early to art and mysticism.  His masterpiece collections, Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus ,  explore how human fragility, love, and mortality coexist with divine beauty and eternal presence. Rilke lived much of his life in solitude, seeing it as the necessary condition for artistic and spiritual awakening. He died in 1926 from leukemia, leaving behind a body of wor...
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My storm will nerver end, Fate is on the wind; King of heart , jokers wild !!

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  In the world of cards, “Joker's wild” means that the Joker can become anything — it is freedom, chaos, and unpredictability disguised as play. It doesn’t follow the rules; it bends them. It’s the card that makes the game uncertain, and therefore alive. The King of Hearts , on the other hand, stands for nobility, love, and emotional truth — the sovereign of feeling. Yet, even he is called the “suicide king” because, in the old deck, he seems to drive his own sword through his head. It’s a haunting image: the heart-led one undone by his own passion. So when Céline Dion sings “King of Hearts, Jokers wild” in “Immortality,” the phrase feels like a mirror of life itself. Love — sincere, tender, regal — plays its hand in a world ruled by chaos. The heart may be noble, but the game is wild. Metaphorically, it speaks of the human condition: Love ruled by unpredictability. A soul of sincerity surrounded by tricksters. A noble heart navigating shifting rules. The tension between ...
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Musings and meditations

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Satisfaction  It's a satisfaction to do what you know you should do. It's a frustration when you don't know what to do. It's hell when you know what you need to do and can't do.
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The crescendo of tempo

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The crescendo of tempo: There’s a rare kind of magic in songs that build gradually — where the melody starts soft and tender, then slowly swells with emotion until it feels like the heart itself can’t contain it anymore. It’s not just about tempo; it’s about the unfolding of feeling — the gentle rise of strings, the deepening of the voice, the subtle layering of instruments that mirror the growth of emotion within you. At first, it’s as if the song whispers — it pulls you in gently, making space for your own quiet reflection. Then, as it grows, something inside begins to stir: a warmth in the chest, a tightening in the throat, a sense of longing and release. When the song finally reaches its peak — that soaring note, that crash of harmony — it’s cathartic. You don’t just listen anymore; you feel . It’s like standing on a hilltop as the wind rushes past — a moment where sound and soul become one. Take “The Power of Love” and "Immortality" by Céline Dion . It begins with inti...
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बदलिँदो आकाश ।

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  बदलिँदो आकाश । बादलका टुक्राहरु, छुट्टीछन्  , मिल्छन् मिल्छन्, छुट्टीछन् अनि फेरि मिन्छन्। झरी  बनेर बर्सर्छन्।
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मेरो प्रेम कहानी ।

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मेरो प्रेम कहानी । कुनै नवयोवना, मेरो अंगालोमा यसरि आउछिन् अनि मलाई प्रेम गर्छिन् । म मदहोस भएर उसलाई प्रेम गर्छु। फेरि सोच्छु; उनी पनि बिस्तारै बुढी हुनेछिन्। कुनै दिन रोगी हुनेछिन्। कुनै दिन आलप हुनेछिन्। अनि मैले होश सहित, गहिरो प्रेम गर्न थाल्छु।
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“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it.”

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This morning I sat to practice — half an hour of Vipassanā , followed by a silent reflection on Advaita . The body was still enough, but the mind was a restless monkey, leaping between unfinished tasks, imagined futures, and subtle self-congratulations for “being spiritual.” At first, I fought the distractions — tightening attention as though I could wrestle the mind into silence. But the more I fought, the louder the inner noise became. Only when I softened — simply noticed the movement — did something shift. The distraction itself became the meditation. I saw that awareness was never disturbed; it was only the contents within awareness that changed shape. Advaita reminds me: the witness is untouched. The waves of thought rise and fall, but the ocean remains ocean. Vipassanā sharpens this seeing — sensation by sensation, breath by breath — showing that each moment, when seen clearly, dissolves into impermanence. Together they teach me that stillness isn’t the absence of thought,...
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Knowing truth is not enough, Embodying the truth is.

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This morning I sat quietly, asking my body, “Why do I still feel unrest, though I know so much?” It replied, not in words, but as a slow sinking into stillness: “Because you do not trust.” Knowledge, I realized, is the first remedy for ignorance — it lights the path. But once the light is on and I still hesitate to walk, something subtler is missing. That something is trust — the faith that life moves toward balance when I stop forcing it. I asked again, “Is it distraction? Is it weakness of will?” The body answered softly, “It’s a lack of trust, not a lack of knowing.” Just as sleep comes not by command but by surrender, healing and peace arise not from control but from confidence — the trust that the body knows, the breath knows, the Being knows. Because knowledge without surrender is a kind of tension. The body does not like it. The body does its quiet housekeeping — repairing, digesting, balancing — without our permission or praise. Yet the mind, always flickering like a ca...
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