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Always renewing, Always afresh.

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Life is often interrupted by the search for truth, for enlightenment, for ultimate realization imagined as single, complete, final. But only death holds such stillness. Life remains— raw, divided, scattered, unfinished and always evolving, always renewing, always afresh. It's not its flaw, But it's law.

The "don't know" mind.

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The "don't know" mind What am I telling myself? What is this sensing inside? These words are empty, These feelings are empty. Go away, my elite minds—  Disappear. I surrender to the "don't know" mind.

Only to hold

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  We carry winters in our bones. I am wounded by your wounds. I will hold your fragility— quietly, even if not perfectly. I have no haste to understand, nor to heal— only to hold, and make you feel safe, until you soften and melt.  

Flower Sermon

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There are moments that arrive without announcement—quiet, unearned. Walking toward the library, nothing special was being sought. No insight, no resolution, no spiritual breakthrough. Just movement. And then I saw a tree in bud, another tree with fresh shoots. A new leaf in early spring. I touched it. Not an idea of renewal, natural cycles, not a metaphor yet— just softness under the fingertips. Something tender, alive, unguarded. Then the tulips, standing with their quiet dignity. And the agelia—its pattern revealing itself without effort: five petals, two apart, three closer, a subtle symmetry holding itself together. Patterns within the petals—so precise, yet so effortless. .  This was not to be understood. It was not given to be interpreted, analyzed, or turned into meaning. It asked for nothing except to be seen, touched, and allowed. The mind, so used to converting everything into language, into insight, into something “useful,” found itself unnecessary.  Becaus...

How can I fix something that was never broken

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How can I fix it if it was never broken? You search for meaning— and call it a lack. You try to fix— and call yourself broken. You keep walking, striving— as if arrival were somewhere else. You keep searching— as if arrival were somewhere else. But deep within, There is something untouched— unbreakable, self-sufficient, eternal arrival, a quiet, radical presence that does not move, yet holds all movement. Let these small searches, these passing problems, not disturb that stillness. Life will rise and fall— as it must. So fail—beautifully. Break—beautifully. Be lost—beautifully. Let things pass without the urge to fix, to fill, to replace, to improve. A feeling comes— burns— and fades. They last but moments. What lingers is the thought that follows, the grasping that sustains it. Do not weave stories around fleeting storms.   The first pain arrives uninvited— The second is chosen, self-inflicted second dart - Buddha says.  So let it be. Let it pass. And rest— not in becomi...

When seeker dissolves into stillness

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Many voices gathered around me— “Come this way,” one said, “No, this way,” another insisted, “Faster,” urged a third, “Don’t stop—run.” Paths multiplied, Urgency grew louder than my own breath, And somewhere along the way, I forgot the quiet rhythm within my chest. Then you arrived— Not with directions, Not with maps or promises, But with a softness I had long abandoned. “You must be tired,” you said, “Sit here… just for a while.” And in that simple permission, The roads dissolved, The noise loosened its grip, And for the first time— the seeker dissolved, And only the stillness remained.

Satipaṭṭhāna and jhanas

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  Satipaṭṭhāna Meditation Guide  The Direct Path to Mindfulness and Liberation Introduction “This is the direct path for the purification of beings, for overcoming sorrow and lamentation, for the disappearance of pain and grief, for the attainment of the true path, and for the realization of Nibbāna.” Core Instruction: “Ekāyano ayaṁ maggo…” — This is the one and only way for the purification of beings. I. Contemplation of the Body ( Ānāpānasati / Kāyānupassanā ) Acknowledging the body as it is—impermanent, composite, and not-self. Philosophical Grounding The body is not a self but a composite of impersonal processes governed by impermanence ( anicca ), unsatisfactoriness ( dukkha ), and non-self ( anattā ). Mindfulness of the body cultivates grounded awareness and forms the base for deeper insight. Psychological angle: Anchoring attention to the body stabilizes the mind and develops interoceptive awareness. Meditation Instructions Mindfulness of Bre...

Takeaways from 40 days Mindfulness Training with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield

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Module 1: MINDFUL BASICS A: ARRIVING IN PRESENCE: ( Arriving and Attitude) 1. Pausing to be present Mindfulness begins with a simple but powerful step: pausing to become present . In the rush and demands of modern life, many people live disconnected from themselves, constantly thinking about the past or future rather than experiencing the present moment where life actually unfolds. Just like Mr. Duffy in James Joyce's novel.  "Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body" . Are we being Mr. Duffy? Many turn to mindfulness seeking clarity, balance, and freedom from unhelpful habits. At its heart, mindfulness responds to a universal longing —to feel centered, authentic, and at home within ourselves. Research has shown that the mind wanders nearly half the time, and people tend to feel happier when they are fully engaged in the present.  A hospice worker who accompanied hundreds of people in their dying process said that one of the greatest regrets she heard expresse...

My notes from MBSR

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9 attitudes of mindfulness. It is an active lifelong process. There is no enlightenment or a state of permanent wisdom. It is the gradual cultivation of the following attitudes.  Beginner's Mind Non-judging Non-striving: Not doing but being. Being with the unfolding of life moment to moment without having any agenda. Acceptance Letting go: (means letting be when evidence suggests they have already been), eg, Monkey traps itself by grasping the banana in a cage. It's just like our breath. If we do not release our breath, we cannot take the next breath. Trust: Just like we trust that our cells, organs, and systems take care of themselves. Why can't we trust our brains and hearts? Our brain trusts in letting go, so it sleeps. Patience: Things will unfold in their own time, and we cannot hurry. It's because we are never really present, anytime and anywhere. Gratitude: Generosity: It enhances interconnectedness.

Goenka Vipassana (10 day course lecture notes)

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1. True Dhamma is a practical, experiential path of purification through self-observation. It is non-sectarian. True Dhamma is not about blind belief, intellectual understanding, or philosophical debate. It is about the direct experience of the mind-matter phenomenon within oneself. True dharma is what gives us peace when we bear it. It breaks the habit pattern of blind reaction (sankhāra) and gives one freedom from misery. Laboratory of the Body: Our own body is the laboratory for investigating the Dhamma. You don't need to believe in scriptures or a teacher. You can verify the truth for yourself by observing the interplay of sensations and your reactions to them within your own framework. The practice of Vipassana is the direct method to realize true Dhamma. It involves: Breathwork for concentration. Scanning the body: Systematically observing bodily sensations with equanimity. Developing Equanimity (Upekkhā): The most crucial aspect. The goal is not to crave pleasant sensations...

Eknath Easwaran

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Today I stumbled upon Eknath Easwaran’s Passage Meditation , and it felt like reconnecting with a quieter, more contemplative version of myself. It has been a long time since I last read his work. I am reminded of my high school days in Pokhara, wandering through Lakeside and picking up copies of the Bhagavad Gita, the Upanishads, and the Dhammapada. Those were days filled with a certain intensity—a sincere and almost restless curiosity about life, virtue, and the deeper meaning of existence. I was especially drawn to Easwaran’s collections of passages and quotes from spiritual and mystical traditions. They felt timeless, carrying voices from different paths yet pointing toward the same inner truth. Back then, I read vigorously, not just to understand but to reflect, to internalize, and to imagine a life shaped by simplicity, discipline, and spiritual clarity. It was a period marked by a genuine aspiration to live a pious and meaningful life, guided by something deeper tha...

Tao

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Taoism: The Quiet Wisdom of the Way Taoism (Daoism) is one of the most subtle and paradoxical philosophical traditions to emerge from ancient China. Rooted in the teachings attributed to Lao Tsu and later expanded by thinkers like Zhuangzi, Taoism is less a system of doctrines and more a way of seeing and living—a return to naturalness, simplicity, and effortless harmony with existence. At the heart of Taoism lies the Tao (Dao)—often translated as “The Way.” Yet, from the very first lines of the classic text Tao Te Ching, we are warned that the Tao cannot be captured in words: “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.” This opening paradox sets the tone for the entire tradition. Taoism invites us not to define reality, but to experience it directly, much like the meditative traditions of the East. It is a philosophy that dissolves rigid concepts and reveals a fluid, ever-changing world. The Tao is not a god, nor a fixed entity. It is the underlying process of existence, the spo...

Zen pearls

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Striving to improve ourselves, we have destroyed ourselves. Our greatest enemy is any thought that promises to improve ourselves, Following a promise to improve ourselves is a sheer disrespect for what we are. Every thought is a distraction from what we are. And so are the circumstances and characters we meet and the substances we use. We are already Buddhas. That´s why Zen master says "If you meet the Buddha on the way, kill him." -Dosti Regmi  

Picture collage of children's curiosity and joy.

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  @Pictures in the corridor, LeBonheur Children's Hospital radiology department, where I work.  

Psychology bites

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   Psychology Bites 1. You cannot think your way out of anxiety. Overthinking is often a maladaptive attempt to solve anxiety. Trying to reason your way out of it is like giving directions while you are drowning. What you need in that moment is not a TED talk—you need a life raft. Anxiety lives in the body: the racing heart, the tight chest, the sinking feeling in the stomach. So pause. Breathe. Move your body. Feel first, think later. 2. You cannot be calm and “zen” all the time. Emotions are part of being human. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety but to manage your relationship with it. Let anxiety sit in the passenger seat if it must—but don’t let it drive the car. 3. Practice thought diffusion. Name your brain. Give it a personality. This playful technique helps create distance from your thoughts. Instead of saying “I am a failure,” you might say, “Anxious Andy is catastrophizing again.” When you name the pattern, you step outside it. You are hearing the thoughts, not ...