HALT, THINK, RAIN ; Pointlessness: Yet Why We Are Compelled to Repeat
- Marcel Proust, In search of lost time
Not self-critical but self-compassionate attitude:
It's not a worrying mind. It's a caring mind.
Not a negative mind. Security-seeking mind.
Not a guilty mind. Consientious mind.
Not missing mind. Loving mind.
Not regretting mind. Learning mind.
Smile and return to the present moment.
Housekeeping is great wisdom. A bird is in the bush on this cold morning, gathering twigs for a nest and food to eat.
Quotes:
There is no sound that is not a mantra, no plant that is not medicinal |
There is no person unworthy; what is lacking is an 'enabler' ||
अमंत्रमक्षरं नास्ति नास्ति मूलमनौषधम् ।
अयोग्यः पुरुषो नास्ति योजकस्तत्र दुर्लभः॥
As a man contemplates sense-objects, attachment for them arises, from attachment, desire for them will be born, from desire arises anger, from anger comes delusion, from delusion comes loss of memory, from loss of memory comes destruction of discrimination, and from destruction of discrimination he perishes.
On hard drugs and soft drugs:
Saw a junkie picking up cigarette stubs. Where is his awareness and freedom of choice?
Hard drugs: they drop you straight down the shaft. No elevator, no stairs, just a gut-wrenching plunge. You hit the bedrock in a few years. Sometimes in a few months. It’s a brutal, unmistakable crash. The bottom is clear, and everyone can see the crater.
But the soft ones… alcohol, nicotine, digital addiction,... they don’t drop you. They grade the slope. Gently, so gently you never feel the descent. It takes a sip from your marriage on a forgotten anniversary. It borrows a morning from your ambition, then a year from your health. It whispers that this is just how adults unwind, until one day you’re trying to remember when you last felt truly awake without it. It doesn’t steal, it levies a tax. It’s a pact where the price is paid in small, invisible increments, deducted directly from the endowment of your vitality. You only get the invoice at the end, and it’s final.
The hard drug is a tragedy written in bold, screaming headlines. It’s a fire that consumes the house in a night. The soft drug is the slow, invisible rot in the beams. It’s the termite of the soul. You don’t hit bedrock; you just wake up one day, decades in, and realize you’ve been living in the basement for years, wondering how the world got so dark and the ceiling so low. By then, the path back up is overgrown, and your legs have forgotten how to climb.
The real danger was never the crash. It was learning to love the descent.
Magic happens when you think less and do more.
The jyanis and yogis have seen the world through the singularity, but we live in multitude. Singularity is the point where our laws of physics cease to exist. Still, I have to press my brake pedals to stop my car, and still weights fall from the open sky to my unprotected head.
Is it logical to search for meaning in religion vs science? Neither has solved it. But how much of the truth do you need? If you are ill. You need the truth that the surgery of medicine works. If you are addicted, then this thought works. If you are hungry, food works, and it's true. Anna Brahma. If you are angry, calm works. A calm and settled state of mind is the truth. If you are lonely, working on relations works and relations are true.
If you are tired, sleep works, and it's the truth.
Gaas, Baas, Kapas, Aru sabai bakbas !!
Just arrive at the present. It's a graceful and grateful experience in itself. Don't think about what grateful and graceful things happened. Tich Nahh Hann used to say, "A Miracle is not to walk on water, but on earth. Too much thinking will not feed the sense of grace and gratitude. Happiness is like orgasm. The more. You think about it, you lose it.
You know your problem. Something works, and be prepared for a solution. That's the truth.
Soberity creates a void... are you prepared for it? The preparedness is the highway to truth.
You cannot compare chapter one of your life with chapter 10 of someone else. Know that humility is truth.
There is finitude, fragility, and flaw. Accept it and try to overcome it. That is the truth.
Universal truth is a luxury.
You can live without universal truth, but you cannot escape the personal truth.
HALT...
The HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) framework is a powerful tool for emotional regulation and relapse prevention, originally from recovery communities but now widely used for general well-being. The core idea is to pause and check in with yourself when you feel emotionally off-balance or on edge.
Before reacting to a strong emotion or craving, stop and ask: "Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?" Often, addressing this basic need will de-escalate the intensity of the feeling.
1. H - Hungry
This isn't just about starvation; it's about unstable blood sugar, poor nutrition, or dehydration, which directly impact mood and cognition.
· Plan Ahead: Carry healthy, protein-rich snacks (nuts, cheese, yogurt, hard-boiled eggs) to avoid energy crashes.
· Hydrate First: Drink a full glass of water. Thirst is often mistaken for hunger.
· Follow the "HALT & Plate" Rule: If you're feeling impulsive or irritable, commit to eating a balanced meal (protein + complex carb + fat) before acting on the impulse.
· Mindful Eating: Avoid eating while distracted. Take a few deep breaths before your meal to shift out of "stress mode" and into "nourishment mode."
2. A - Angry
Anger is often a secondary emotion masking hurt, fear, or frustration. The goal is not to suppress it, but to process it constructively.
· Physical Discharge: Safely release the adrenaline. Go for a brisk walk, do jumping jacks, squeeze a stress ball, or tear up an old magazine.
· Delay & Write: Set a timer for 20 minutes before responding or acting. Use that time to write uncensored in a journal or notes app. This gets it out of your head.
· Name the Root Emotion: Ask yourself: "Under the anger, what do I really feel? Hurt? Powerless? Disrespected?" Naming it reduces its intensity.
· Use "I" Statements: If communicating, practice: "I feel [emotion] when [specific situation] because I need [need]." (e.g., "I feel frustrated when I'm interrupted because I need to feel heard.")
3. L - Lonely
Loneliness is about a perceived lack of meaningful connection, not just being alone. You can feel lonely in a crowd.
· Micro-Connections: Don't underestimate small interactions. Make eye contact and thank the barista, chat briefly with a neighbor, or send a "thinking of you" text to a friend.
· Schedule Connection: Treat social time like an important appointment. Schedule a weekly phone call, join a club/class (book club, gym, volunteer group), or use apps like Meetup for shared-interest groups.
· Reach Out Before You Need To: Build your support network when you're feeling stable. Nurture relationships so they're there in difficult times.
· Connect with Yourself: Sometimes loneliness signals a disconnect from yourself. Try journaling, spending time in nature alone, or engaging in a creative hobby.
4. T - Tired
This encompasses physical exhaustion, mental fatigue, and emotional depletion. Rest is not a reward; it's a requirement.
· Prioritize Sleep Hygiene: Create a cool, dark sleeping environment. Have a consistent wind-down routine (no screens 1 hour before bed, read, listen to calm music). Aim for 7-9 hours.
· Power Nap: A 20-minute nap can be restorative without causing sleep inertia.
· Take a "Do-Nothing" Break: Set a timer for 5-10 minutes. Sit or lie down and literally do nothing. Let your mind wander. This is a form of rest.
· Tackle Mental Fatigue: Switch tasks, work in focused 25-minute sprints (Pomodoro Technique), or brain-dump all your thoughts onto paper to clear mental clutter.
· Ask: "What Can I Delegate or Drop?" Tiredness is often a sign of overload. Review your to-do list critically.
Pursuing a sober and normal life is a courageous and deeply personal journey.
Awareness as a private detective against yourself.
Trifles make perfection. But perfection is not trifle.
इतना क्यों सिखाए जा रही हो ज़िंदगी हमें कौनसी सदियां गुज़ारनी है यहां
When you get lost in the forest. Be still and listen. Forest will find you.
Striving... if u have to strive. Do that one thing which is at your disposal and beneficial and proven and wholesome, but have been putting it off. Joy is in accomplishing that act.
Use when stress, anger, loneliness trigger urge:
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Recognize
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Allow
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Investigate
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Non-identification
(“This is not me; this is a state.”)
Satipaṭṭhāna in 4 short steps
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Body (Kāyānupassanā)
Notice the raw bodily sensations of craving (tightness, restlessness, heat).
See the urge as physical sensation, not a command.
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Feeling (Vedanānupassanā)
Identify the feeling tone: unpleasant, pleasant, or neutral.
Break the reflex: unpleasant feeling ≠ must act.
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Mind (Cittānupassanā)
Name the mind state: “craving mind,” “restless mind.”
Understand: this is a state, not who I am.
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Dhammas (Dhammānupassanā)
Recognize craving as a conditioned phenomenon (hindrance, dependent origination, impermanence).
Insight dissolves compulsion.
One-line summary:
Feel it in the body, know the feeling, name the mind, see the law — craving loses its power.
Anicca – “This urge is changing.”
Dukkha – “Yielding does not bring peace.”
Anattā – “This urge is not me.”
Overcoming negative self-talk:
Instead of approaching the release of negative thinking with dread—expecting it to be difficult or endless—this approach invites a positive, liberating attitude. Letting go is not an act of deprivation but of freedom. What is happening is not loss, but the recovery of clarity, peace, energy, and self-trust. You are not giving something up; you are stepping out of a mental prison.
A helpful inner orientation is to repeatedly recognize: “I am no longer feeding this pattern. Isn’t that wonderful?” When this is seen clearly, the pull fades on its own. Something genuinely good is happening—you are stepping out of confinement. You can experience this moment without choking yourself with your own thoughts. There is relief in realizing that you don’t need to engage anymore, and more importantly, that you don’t want to. Freedom begins here.
Two essentials support this shift: certainty and positivity ( No doubt and uncertainty). Certainty that stepping out of the habit is the right thing, and a positive mindset that quietly affirms, “Isn’t it great that I don’t need to do this anymore?” This change is not the loss of a friend, but the killing of an enemy. It can feel like entering a different universe—one that was always wanted. Ease comes from making the decision final, not from hoping you’ve moved on, but knowing that you have. When certainty is present, effort dissolves, and the decision itself becomes something to celebrate.
With clarity, it becomes obvious that the only “relief” these mental habits ever provided was temporary relief from the discomfort they themselves created. Each mental tug and pang is therefore not a failure, but a sign that the pattern is weakening and you are healing. This is the moment of reclaiming attention and life energy. Ask honestly what kind of habit feels burdensome while engaging in it, yet strangely tempting only when absent. These patterns exist only to maintain themselves, and each engagement merely quiets the discomfort caused by the previous one. The sense of deprivation arises only when you believe you are missing something.
Discomfort should not be feared, but understood for what it represents: not the loss of a friend, but the collapse of a long-standing enemy that drained energy, confidence, clarity, and peace. Every pang is a symptom of recovery, and full ease arrives sooner than expected.
The moment the decision becomes final, freedom begins. Celebration can start immediately and continue naturally. The ease was present from the beginning; struggle existed only where doubt and uncertainty existed. Discomfort is manufactured by uncertainty. When doubt is removed, urges lose their power. From the outset, old conditioning is best countered with clarity and facts: this habit was never necessary, never supportive, never a friend. Questioning the decision only punishes clarity, even though it may be one of the best decisions ever made.
The core insight is simple: the habit gives nothing. What was mistaken for relief was only the easing of discomfort created by the habit itself. Once this illusion is seen clearly, disengaging no longer feels like a sacrifice; it feels like a release.
The power of this approach lies in cognitive reframing. When fear, identity attachment, and the sense of deprivation are removed, urges lose their emotional charge. The inner dialogue naturally shifts from “I can’t engage” to “I don’t need to.” That is when ease becomes natural.
A single clarifying question remains: Do I actually need this, or do I merely feel compelled to repeat it? Do I need it, or do I want it?
The negative habits feed on negative reinforcement ( discomfort relief rather than pleasure seeking), stress illusion ( seems to solve the problem when it itself is the problem), conditioned (faulty linking cues to rewards), and negative identity loop ( I am weak and negative, so I am having negative thoughts).
Reclaim your freedom and say, " I am not losing a friend but killing an enemy. I am leaving the confinement and stepping out of the prison, I am paying all the debts off, I am healing...)
It's not about willpower but clarity and insight.
( Cf. Allen Carr's EASYWAY)
Buddha says, he teaches things:
1. Limbic Impulses as the First Spark
Every emotional event begins as a limbic burst — a rapid activation of structures like:
Amygdala (threat, salience)
Hippocampus (context, memory)
Hypothalamus (autonomic and endocrine response)
Insula (interoceptive sensations — “gut feeling,” tight chest, heat, etc.)
These impulses come before narrative thinking. They are bodily sensations + ancient survival programs.
This is why emotional events feel as if they happen to us more than they are chosen by us.
2. The 90-Second Neurochemical Window
When a limbic center fires, it triggers:
cortisol and norepinephrine release
sympathetic discharge (via locus coeruleus, adrenal medulla)
transient changes in heart rate, gut motility, muscle tone
shifts in interoceptive signaling to the insula
Neurophysiologically:
Catecholamines in the synapse last ~90 seconds before being metabolized or reabsorbed.
Amygdala-driven physiological responses (HR, BP, breathing pattern) normalize in about 90 seconds if they are not cognitively rekindled.
This is the origin of the observation (popularized by Jill Bolte Taylor) that the body’s chemical reaction to an emotional trigger lasts 90 seconds unless the mind feeds it again.
3. After the 90 Seconds: Thoughts Take Over
The limbic fire has burned out.
What remains is cognitive propagation, not physiology.
Beyond the initial biological wave, the experience of emotion is maintained by:
a. The Default Mode Network (DMN)
medial prefrontal cortex
posterior cingulate cortex
inferior parietal lobule
This network starts story-making, rumination, predicting, and referencing past memories (your “saṃskāras”).
b. Prefrontal Cortex (PFC)
gives narrative, judgment, meaning, identity
takes the raw limbic signal and turns it into “my anger,” “my fear,” “this always happens,” “I am this kind of person.”
c. Habit Loops and Saṃskāras
Your past conditioning (saṃskāras) determines:
what story the DMN will choose
how long you stay in it
whether you spiral up or spiral down
which behaviors you perform reflexively
The emotion after 90 seconds is no longer chemical — it is conceptual.
It is thought-made, memory-reinforced, and identity-maintained.
4. The Only Frontier: The Last Thought
Because the physiological wave is short, the real leverage point is the thought that follows it.
Not suppressing it.
Not replacing it.
But surfing and witnessing it.
Why this works neurologically:
Meta-awareness activates the anterior prefrontal cortex and insula.
This creates a circuit break between the DMN and the limbic system.
Observing a thought reduces its emotional charge (decreases amygdala activity).
Witnessing activates networks involved in contextualization and detachment (dorsal anterior cingulate, right temporoparietal junction).
When you witness a thought, it loses its ability to regenerate the emotion.
When you feed a thought, it refreshes the limbic chemistry and starts another 90-second blast.
Thus: Your emotional life is shaped not by the initial impulse, but by the last thought you continue to believe.
5. Surfing vs. Controlling
Trying to replace thoughts (“think positive”) often backfires because:
suppression activates the dorsolateral PFC and increases amygdala rebound
reactivity returns stronger (“white bear effect”)
Surfing, on the other hand:
allows the limbic chemistry to complete its 90-sec arc
prevents cognitive reinforcement
preserves interoceptive clarity
dissolves habitual saṃskāra-loops
anchors awareness in the witnessing self
You are not responsible for the first impulse.
You are responsible for the second thought.
Emotions begin as 90-second limbic waves, but they continue only because our thoughts — shaped by saṃskāras and habits — keep propagating them. The only true point of mastery is to witness the final thought as it arises, surf it without identifying with it, and let the wave complete itself.
The 90-second rule and white bear theory:
Every emotional event begins as a limbic spark—an ancient, automatic burst from the amygdala, hippocampus, hypothalamus, and insula. These structures generate raw survival signals long before the mind has time to think about them: the tightening chest, the rush of heat, the sudden sense of danger or hurt. This initial surge is precognitive and involuntary; it is the body’s old evolutionary machinery responding to the world. In this phase, emotion is sensation, not story. Neuroscience shows that once these structures fire, they release a short-lived wave of catecholamines—norepinephrine, cortisol surges, sympathetic discharge, shifts in heart rate and gut tone—and these biochemical effects dissipate within roughly 90 seconds unless something reactivates them. This is the origin of the “90-second rule”: the body’s emotional chemistry resolves swiftly on its own unless the mind interferes.
What keeps the emotion alive after these 90 seconds is not biology but cognition. The Default Mode Network—medial prefrontal cortex, posterior cingulate, inferior parietal lobule—begins weaving narratives, predictions, and memories around the raw sensation. The prefrontal cortex assigns meaning and identity to the experience: “my anger,” “my humiliation,” “this always happens to me.” Here the past reasserts itself through saṃskāras—habitual memory-patterns that determine which story the mind selects, how long it holds onto it, and whether we spiral upward or downward. Two people can have the same limbic jolt yet experience entirely different emotional realities because the second wave—the conceptual wave—is shaped by conditioning, not physiology. At this point the emotion is no longer chemical; it is constructed, sustained by thought rather than neurotransmitter.
This is also where the White Bear effect appears. When we try to forcefully suppress a thought—“I must not feel angry,” “I should not be anxious,” “I cannot think of this”—the brain paradoxically reactivates the very circuits we want to quiet. Wegner’s ironic process theory shows that suppression activates a conscious control system that tries to keep the thought away while a subconscious monitoring system continuously scans for the forbidden thought to ensure it’s gone. This monitoring amplifies the unwanted thought, making it return stronger and more intrusive. Neurophysiologically, suppression fatigues the dorsolateral PFC, triggers conflict-monitoring regions like the ACC, and heightens amygdala activity—setting off fresh waves of the same emotion we were trying to escape. Thus the emotion after the 90-second window is maintained largely by mental resistance, not the original trigger.
This insight mirrors deep contemplative traditions. In Buddhist Abhidhamma, an emotion arises as a momentary mental event—vedanā—followed by proliferations (papañca) that create an entire self-story around it. The Abhidhamma describes how each succeeding thought moment conditions the next one, forming psychological continuity. The real suffering comes not from the initial moment but from the chain of conceptual proliferation. In Vedanta, this mechanism is understood through saṃskāra-vritti (habitual mental waves) and the antidote is sakshi-bhava—the stance of the witness. The witness does not resist or suppress; it simply recognizes the arising of a thought or emotion, allowing it to pass without identification. Modern neuroscience mirrors this: meta-awareness activates insula and anterior prefrontal pathways that decouple the DMN from limbic reactivity. The act of witnessing creates a neurological “circuit break,” allowing the emotional wave to run its natural 90-second course without cognitive rekindling.
This is why the true frontier of emotional mastery is not the first impulse but the last thought—the moment we choose to feed the story or to witness it. Surfing the thought rather than suppressing it allows the nervous system to complete its arc, prevents cognitive reinforcement, dissolves habitual saṃskāra loops, and restores clarity. Suppression reactivates the cycle; witnessing ends it. Mindfulness is not a positive replacement strategy but a cessation strategy: not adding, not resisting, simply allowing the transient wave to be seen for what it is.
In essence, emotions begin as automatic 90-second limbic waves, but they are prolonged by thought. The mind keeps the flame burning long after the body has extinguished its spark. Freedom emerges not by controlling or replacing the mind’s movements but by watching them—letting the final thought rise and fall without becoming its prisoner. This integration of neuroscience, Abhidhamma insight, and Vedantic witnessing reveals a simple truth: we cannot stop the first wave, but we can choose not to build the ocean around it.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
It quietly enters the mind and convinces you that your life must be measured against the lives of others. Social media magnifies this—carefully curated images of colleagues and acquaintances become subtle invitations to compare. Even well-meaning family and friends can unintentionally reinforce it. But comparison lives in external variables. It is always about what is outside you. In your inner world, untouched by comparison, you remain a fundamentally whole and blissful being.
Comparison breeds jealousy, discouragement, and the painful sense of being “behind” or “unsuccessful.” It separates you from others and from yourself, because your worth becomes a scoreboard instead of a lived experience. It turns life into a race that no one ever truly wins.
Comparison is like looking through different colored glasses. Each pair creates a different world: a new set of problems, a new definition of success, a new idea of who you should be. Change the glasses, and everything changes. But what happens if you remove the glasses altogether?
See with bare awareness—without labels, without judgment, without the story of “me versus them.” Look with the openness of a one-year-old child encountering the world for the first time: curious, alert, unburdened by identity or expectation. In this space, there is no comparison, only direct experience. There is simply life as it is, and you as you are—and that is already enough.त्यो फुत्केर दुख दिने ठाउँमै ठोकिन्छ।
दिमाग लाई जति जतनले सम्हालेर राख,
त्यो फुत्केर गुनासो र झगडाको चेपुवामै पुगेर फस्छ।
When two parts of you fight each other, you can never truly win. One side may appear to win, but the burden of truth will fall unevenly. You will load one side with emotion and psychology, and the other with philosophy, and each side will fail beautifully. Don’t try to choose between them. Instead, be the “I” that is above and beyond both. It needs no praise for its glory and no love for its flaws. It simply is—and you have to embody it, choicelessly.
I saw it... It was fear, impatience, and worry...
If the one who made resolutions were you. Then who was the one who did not keep up with resolutions? Don't be boastful about the resolution maker and angry about the resolution breaker. Know the I above and beyond both of them.
The best way of living is not being a slave of the big things but lord of the small things.
This is a passing thing. I shall not let my fire alarm detector on... creating a crisis situation.
The biggest addiction: The addiction of either chasing or waiting, but not arriving.
Thoughts come and go like fish in water. If you feed them, they will gather; else, they just go....
After months, I have seen the floating clouds lying down. We are not used to looking up. Last time I say the clouds was when I was in the aeroplane. I saw the clouds down.
We have a delusion of abundance and resourcefulness.
We fear we may complete our task and achieve our goal.
We have a delusion that we should think to solve the world's problems. We must leave this world without solving any of its problems.
Mindfulness is not changing thoughts but redefining the relationship with these thoughts.
People and events come and go. We don't like some people, but often ask them to visit our home as guests, serve them dinner, and again ask them to stay. We can't ask them to go or starve them. We engage with them and are miserable.
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