A Monk's Guide to Happiness- Gelong Thubten; Finding Your Way- Sharon Salzberg
A Monk's Guide to Happiness
Gelong Thubten (From Binklist)
Gelong Thubten is a Buddhist monk and meditation teacher from the United Kingdom. After receiving an education at Oxford University, he became an actor in London and New York. He led a party-hard lifestyle until suffering burnout at the age of 21. At this point, he joined the Kagyu Samye Ling Monastery in Scotland, where he became an ordained Tibetan Buddhist monk. Thubten has practiced and taught mindfulness meditation ever since. This path included 25 years of training, six years of attending intensive meditation retreats and 20 years of teaching mindfulness in settings as diverse as schools, hospitals, prisons, addiction counseling centers and corporate offices.
Feeling of fullness and content. We don’t wish for anything we don’t already have – whether it’s a material object, experience or circumstance.
Feeling anchored to the present. This means we don’t drift away into thoughts about the past or future, where we tend to get caught up in painful memories and anxiety-provoking uncertainties.
Sense of freedom. This is the third component of happiness. We don’t become captivated by the negative emotions and disquieting desires that come with dredging up the past, anticipating the future or wishing the present were different. Instead, we feel liberated from all of these sources of unhappiness.
If happiness is marked by a sense of fullness, presentness, and freedom, then unhappiness is characterized by the opposite – a sense of incompleteness, absent-ness, and captivity. Our suffering isn’t caused by the things we want to push away or grasp, but rather by doing these very actions! This suggests a pretty straightforward solution to liberating ourselves from our unhappiness: Stop pushing away. Stop grasping. Just let it be. This needs equanimity, looking things with neutrality...
About Happiness:
Happiness has three components:Feeling of fullness and content. We don’t wish for anything we don’t already have – whether it’s a material object, experience or circumstance.
Feeling anchored to the present. This means we don’t drift away into thoughts about the past or future, where we tend to get caught up in painful memories and anxiety-provoking uncertainties.
Sense of freedom. This is the third component of happiness. We don’t become captivated by the negative emotions and disquieting desires that come with dredging up the past, anticipating the future or wishing the present were different. Instead, we feel liberated from all of these sources of unhappiness.
About Mindfulness:
Mindfulness involves incorporating meditation into everyday activities.
Step one: Focus your mind on an anchor. Step two: notice it’s drifted. Step three: bring it back to your anchor. Repeat. Put in this way, meditation sounds extremely simple – and in a way, it is. But as anyone who’s ever tried it knows, meditation can also be really difficult.
The second phase is the sticking point for many people. Their minds wander, and they think, “Oh no, I’ve messed up! I lost my focus. Quick – return to the breath!” But if we do that, we’re right back to pushing and grasping. We’re resisting thoughts, emotions or sensations, and we’re trying to grasp our anchor.
The key here is to realize that mental wandering isn’t a failure. In fact, it’s pivotal to the success of the whole endeavor. If our minds didn’t drift away from focusing on our anchor (step one), we wouldn’t have a chance to practice recognizing that they’ve wandered (step two) and bring them back (step three). And it’s in practicing all three steps together that we develop our ability to inhabit a state of mindfulness.
In other words, the “mistake” of losing our focus is really a crucial learning experience and growth opportunity.
That final tip is not to close your eyes or play peaceful music when meditating. Sure, these things may help you concentrate, but remember that the objective isn’t to be mindful while we’re meditating. It’s to be mindful when we’re not meditating. After all, do you walk around with your eyes closed or listening to gentle piano arpeggios all day long?
Probably not – but when we meditate this way, we’re unintentionally training ourselves to rely on these methods of achieving mindfulness. We’re also sending ourselves an unconscious message – practicing mindfulness is something we do only under special circumstances.
But again, the point is to practice under any circumstances, so that it’s always “on tap” for us. Then we’ll be able to find a sense of inner peace anytime, anywhere, with our eyes wide open to the beautiful but often turbulent world around us.
Finding Your Way
Sharon Salzberg (From Binklist)
Meeting change with wisdom:
Are you tying your happiness to a fleeting moment? It feels limiting, right? Now you might ask, why bother with hope if it's so fickle? It's because a life without hope feels solemn.
It felt like the world was crumbling, right? But it wasn't. That's the main concept here. Our goal, then, is to reach a perfect level of balance, which you can call equanimity if you want to impress your friends. Equanimity is a healthy perspective where you know that each moment, no matter how hard, doesn't determine what comes next.
Receiving Generosity:
Let's face it, when someone offers us a helping hand, our first instinct is to decline or downplay the gesture.In a world that often celebrates independence, we're conditioned to value self-sufficiency. But here’s a truth worth holding: Receiving generosity isn’t weakness. It’s recognition of our shared humanity.
It might be that when someone extends a helping hand, you feel reluctant to accept it, as if the person would expect something in return. But genuine compassion does exist, and in this case, the most effective response is to let appreciation fill your heart.
Mindfulness involves incorporating meditation into everyday activities.
Step one: Focus your mind on an anchor. Step two: notice it’s drifted. Step three: bring it back to your anchor. Repeat. Put in this way, meditation sounds extremely simple – and in a way, it is. But as anyone who’s ever tried it knows, meditation can also be really difficult.
The second phase is the sticking point for many people. Their minds wander, and they think, “Oh no, I’ve messed up! I lost my focus. Quick – return to the breath!” But if we do that, we’re right back to pushing and grasping. We’re resisting thoughts, emotions or sensations, and we’re trying to grasp our anchor.
The key here is to realize that mental wandering isn’t a failure. In fact, it’s pivotal to the success of the whole endeavor. If our minds didn’t drift away from focusing on our anchor (step one), we wouldn’t have a chance to practice recognizing that they’ve wandered (step two) and bring them back (step three). And it’s in practicing all three steps together that we develop our ability to inhabit a state of mindfulness.
In other words, the “mistake” of losing our focus is really a crucial learning experience and growth opportunity.
As you apply mindfulness to other areas of your life, try to adopt this kind and forgiving attitude toward yourself and your “mistakes” in general. If you already practice meditation, you may have an opportunity to try that out in just a moment, because you’re about to learn one final tip that might make you think you’ve been doing it “wrong.”
That final tip is not to close your eyes or play peaceful music when meditating. Sure, these things may help you concentrate, but remember that the objective isn’t to be mindful while we’re meditating. It’s to be mindful when we’re not meditating. After all, do you walk around with your eyes closed or listening to gentle piano arpeggios all day long?
Probably not – but when we meditate this way, we’re unintentionally training ourselves to rely on these methods of achieving mindfulness. We’re also sending ourselves an unconscious message – practicing mindfulness is something we do only under special circumstances.
But again, the point is to practice under any circumstances, so that it’s always “on tap” for us. Then we’ll be able to find a sense of inner peace anytime, anywhere, with our eyes wide open to the beautiful but often turbulent world around us.
Finding Your Way
Sharon Salzberg (From Binklist)
Sharon Salzberg is a bestselling author and co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society. Barre Massechucet.
Meeting change with wisdom:
Are you tying your happiness to a fleeting moment? It feels limiting, right? Now you might ask, why bother with hope if it's so fickle? It's because a life without hope feels solemn.
It felt like the world was crumbling, right? But it wasn't. That's the main concept here. Our goal, then, is to reach a perfect level of balance, which you can call equanimity if you want to impress your friends. Equanimity is a healthy perspective where you know that each moment, no matter how hard, doesn't determine what comes next.
Mindfulness:
Cultivate mindfulness, one drop at a time. Mindfulness, like water, fills the mind one drop at a time. When you're stuck in traffic and you take a deep breath to calm down, that's a drop. The last time you chose understanding over snapping, yep, another drop.
Each of us has our own mindfulness journey with our own rhythm and receptivity. The beauty of these buckets is that they never leak. They're always at the ready, waiting for the next drop of compassion. Remember, the aim isn't to fill the bucket as quickly as possible. It's about adding to it on a regular basis. Every pause, reflection, and moment of understanding counts.
Loving kindness:
Loving kindness is similar to being hugged by your favorite people. It begin with ourselves and radiates outside.
Cultivate mindfulness, one drop at a time. Mindfulness, like water, fills the mind one drop at a time. When you're stuck in traffic and you take a deep breath to calm down, that's a drop. The last time you chose understanding over snapping, yep, another drop.
Each of us has our own mindfulness journey with our own rhythm and receptivity. The beauty of these buckets is that they never leak. They're always at the ready, waiting for the next drop of compassion. Remember, the aim isn't to fill the bucket as quickly as possible. It's about adding to it on a regular basis. Every pause, reflection, and moment of understanding counts.
Loving kindness:
Loving kindness is similar to being hugged by your favorite people. It begin with ourselves and radiates outside.
May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live in peace.
May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you live in peace.
May all being be safe, may all being be happy, may all being be healthy, may you live in peace.
It’s not magic. It’s mindset. So go ahead—offer a smile, a kind word, a gentle thought. You might be surprised by how far the ripple travels.
Gratitude:
When life hands you lemons, instead of whipping up lemonade, you marvel at the bright yellow hue and relish the zesty scent. You see, gratitude isn't just a mood booster. It's an elixir. It's like sipping on a cup of happiness every day. It calms your fears and grounds you in goodness. So pay exquisite attention to the ordinary.
How many smiles can you catch in a day? Not the ones on screens, but genuine face-wrinkling smiles.Every smile and polite excuse me has the potential to spark a connection. People in the digital age have forgotten the value of emotional contact.Paying attention to someone is one of the most powerful ways to connect. This is where active listening comes in. To employ this, stay curious and ask follow-up questions while chatting.
How many smiles can you catch in a day? Not the ones on screens, but genuine face-wrinkling smiles.Every smile and polite excuse me has the potential to spark a connection. People in the digital age have forgotten the value of emotional contact.Paying attention to someone is one of the most powerful ways to connect. This is where active listening comes in. To employ this, stay curious and ask follow-up questions while chatting.
Let's face it, when someone offers us a helping hand, our first instinct is to decline or downplay the gesture.In a world that often celebrates independence, we're conditioned to value self-sufficiency. But here’s a truth worth holding: Receiving generosity isn’t weakness. It’s recognition of our shared humanity.
It might be that when someone extends a helping hand, you feel reluctant to accept it, as if the person would expect something in return. But genuine compassion does exist, and in this case, the most effective response is to let appreciation fill your heart.
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