Chatter-box Mind and the Distant-Detached-Doubter.

Human Body: The beauty of pain, sickness, aging, and death:

Everything in our body and mind serves a purpose for our survival. Even the unpleasant ones.

Pain alerts us to injury or potential harm, encouraging us to take immediate action to prevent further damage. For example, the pain of touching something hot prompts us to withdraw quickly, avoiding a more severe burn. In diabetic neuropathy, patients lose the pain in their feet. And because the wounds there do not hurt, patients care less, and it is one of the reasons why small wounds turn into gangrenes.

Sickness encourages us to take rest and care for ourselves, allowing the body time to heal properly. When we are down with a fever, we are more aware of the vulnerability and fragility of our lives.

If humans were to have a life expectancy of 1000 years, humans would have been even more egoist and arrogant and would be less interested in health, harmony, kindness, and humanity.

The fleeting nature of life is the very cause that makes life precious. 

Pain, sickness, aging, and death are the few universal experiences, which remind us of our shared humanity and encourage compassion and connection.

We become more reflective in the face of pain, sickness, aging, and death. Buddha's reflection on life started with his encounter with the same phenomenon.

Despite being unpleasant, they have their purpose.

When it hurts, it instructs. 

Hurts also make us humble. Emotional pain, such as grief or heartbreak, teaches resilience, empathy, and self-awareness. Struggling through difficult experiences often leads to greater personal growth and a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

Discomfort in different spheres of life pushes us to seek help and find solutions, change our behavior patterns, and develop adaptations and resilience. 

Bountiful Mind: Gift of language, thinking, cognitive abilities, imagination, and self-awareness:

We are Homo sapiens sapiens. Sapiens means wise. We are doubly wiser than the Neanderthals Homo sapiens neanderthalensis.

Thinking sets us apart from other animals. Descartes was true when he said, "I think, therefore I am." We think, therefore we are what we are humans.

Thinking is the evolutionary adaptation for learning from the past and planning for the future.

We also use our cognitive skills to make meaning out of life and form a personal (as well as collective) belief system, narrative, story, and mythology.

Thinking has helped humanity make the most out of what we have, make new innovations, and be responsible, wise, and sane.

Unpleasant mind: When thinking becomes overthinking:

While introspection helps us know the reality, solve problems, and make good decisions, overthinking can be harmful. This is because it often leads to a cycle of negative self-talk, alienation from reality, and mental chatter.

We think constantly. Day in and day out. We think 16000 thoughts a day and most of them are commentaries on what is happening, ruminations of the past, and speculations about the future. The thoughts are overwhelming. It gets us completely absorbed. It hijacks us from ourselves. When we are angry, we are nothing other than angry. When we are jealous, we are nothing other than covet. When we are anxious, we are nothing other than anxious. When we are depressed, we are nothing other than depressed. When we are remorseful, we are nothing other than remorseful.

Overthinking leads to depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.

Our brain has a limited capacity for attention and focus. Overthinking clutters our minds and dulls it. We have to be more mindful and silence the inner voice gone wrong - chatter.

What's easier to memorize? 12569045 or 125-690-45? The second, right?

That's because it's only three pieces of information, while the first set is an unbroken string of eight. This is a classic example of how our minds can only hold three to five pieces of information at any single moment, and that's under optimum conditions. If there's too much chatter, our minds tend to slow down dramatically.

Detachment, Distance, and Doubt but not Dispute:

The second sapiens in our generic name should be our ability to balance the first sapiens in our name. We should think and also be aware of that thinker. That is self-awareness. The two I within us. Let's say the first I is the thinker and the second I is the self-awareness that is the reasonable doubter for the thinker who is detached from the thinker and can watch it from a distance. This can help to keep the thoughts in perspective and grounded.

But since we are not used to the self-awareness we often fall into the pitfall of overthinking.

But we should always be appreciative of the thoughts that come to our minds. We cannot deny them and we cannot dispute them. Just like the pain, sickness, aging, and death are unpleasant but they are the truths that call upon us to be more responsible, mindful, and wise.

Ethan Kross, psychologist, neuroscientist, and author of the book Chatter says our inner voice is a powerful tool for self-reflection and planning, but it can also trap you in negative thought loops — “chatter”. Here are some of the tools he advised in his book.

1. Distance:

The quickest way to turn down chatter is to get some distance. Picture one of your negative memories as if it were a video on your phone. Now picture the event as if it were happening to someone else and you're just another person in the room. The author refers to this as the fly-on-the-wall perspective.

To differentiate the two I, within us we can use "Distanced self-talk". Talk to yourself or comment on yourself as a third person. "Dosti is thinking this thought..."

This reminds me a poem by my poet friend Niraj Bhattarai. If two feet are tied as one, we cannot walk ahead. If they are freed, they only we can walk. The two I should have a distance so thet can realize the beauty of each others existence.

पैताला जोडेर नकट्ने रैछ बाटो

सम्बन्धमा थोरै दुरी जरुरी रहेछ

addressing yourself as if you were someone else can help you get some distance from chatter. Normally our chatter comes in the first-person singular, what's known as I-talk. For example, we might think, why did I get so angry earlier? or why was I so stupid? I-talk has been closely linked with negative thought spirals. For instance, one study found that bouts of depression could be predicted by analyzing the frequency of I-talk in people's Facebook posts.

2. Mature and adaptive cognition:

Seeking help from others can fulfill your emotional needs because they validate your feelings and sympathize with you. They co-ruminate with you. The same thinking is co-played. The cognitive need, i.e. the need to see things more in perspective should be fulfilled. Because the emotional pain is a call for wiser dealing.

3. Awe and wonder let you out of the chatter-box:

Nature engages your involuntary attention and fills you with a sense of awe, a powerful and transcendent emotion that helps you get outside of yourself. When you are more and more mindful you will notice many awe-inspiring moments in your day-to-day life.