Dr Dosti Regmi Blog

Silencing our inner critic with self compassion: Each of us carries within us an inner voice —a running commentary on who we are, what we do, and how we fall short. Sometimes this voice is gentle and discerning, helping us reflect and grow. But often, especially under stress or failure, it transforms into a harsh inner critic —a relentless judge that magnifies our flaws, replays our mistakes, and whispers that we are not enough. This inner critic doesn’t arise out of malice. In fact, it often develops early in life as a misguided form of self-protection. It tries to push us toward achievement, perfection, or social acceptance, fearing that without its control, we might become lazy, unworthy, or unloved. Yet paradoxically, the critic’s harshness can make us anxious, ashamed, and disconnected from ourselves. The antidote to the inner critic is not silence or suppression—it is self-compassion . Self-compassion, as defined by psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, involves three ...

Recently, I took the Five Facet Mindfulness Questionnaire (FFMQ). At first, the questions seemed   deceptively simple—things like ‘Do you notice the sunshine?’ or ‘Can you identify when you’re feeling sad or angry?’ These centered around observing and labeling emotions, and I scored well. It gave me a sense of confidence, even a quiet pride in my awareness. But as the questionnaire progressed, it became more revealing. The later questions probed deeper—asking whether I stay truly present during routine actions, whether I judge myself harshly for my thoughts and feelings, or whether I get carried away by them. These touched on acting with awareness, non-judgment, and non-reactivity. And that’s where the cracks showed. It was humbling to realize that while I might notice the sunshine or name my emotions, much of my inner life still runs on autopilot—often reactive, self-critical, or entangled in thought loops. The FFMQ became a mirror, gently but unmistakably showing me ho...

A Monk's Guide to Happiness Gelong Thubten (From Binklist) Gelong Thubten is a Buddhist monk and meditation teacher from the United Kingdom. After receiving an education at Oxford University, he became an actor in London and New York. He led a party-hard lifestyle until suffering burnout at the age of 21. At this point, he joined the Kagyu Samye Ling Monastery in Scotland, where he became an ordained Tibetan Buddhist monk. Thubten has practiced and taught mindfulness meditation ever since. This path included 25 years of training, six years of attending intensive meditation retreats and 20 years of teaching mindfulness in settings as diverse as schools, hospitals, prisons, addiction counseling centers and corporate offices. About Happiness: Happiness has three components: Feeling of fullness and content. We don’t wish for anything we don’t already have – whether it’s a material object, experience or circumstance. Feeling anchored to the present. This means we don’t drift away into...

The Practice of Not Thinking - Ryunosuke Koike There is a distinction between thinking and awareness. Thinking is useful when needed, but becomes harmful when constant. On the other hand, awareness connects us with reality, especially through the body and senses. Thoughts are distractions from reality. Thoughts are often arising from the three poisons or fires, as Buddha says: RAGA clinging/grasping/greed); DYASHA (aversion, anger), and both of them arising from MOHA (ignorance/delusion) Greed: Greed is not only a craving for material things but also a mental attachment to outcomes, approval, success, or even happiness. Greed arises when we believe that something outside us will complete or fix us. The mind spins in desire, constantly seeking, which fuels overthinking. By not thinking, we stop feeding this constant seeking. Returning to the body and the present moment weakens the pull of desire. Anger: Anger is tied to the ego’s resistance to reality—wanting things to be other than t...

  The Quiet Mind: John E. Coleman Hypnotism and ESP (extrasensory perception) intrigued Coleman (Then an FBI agent), leading him towards meditation. U Ba Khin and his meditation center in Yangon, the capital of Burma: U Ba Khin was a senior Burmese government official and a meditation teacher. Although he was constantly busy, whenever he felt overwhelmed, he would pause, adopt the lotus position, and meditate for a few minutes to relieve his stress. For Coleman, this demonstrated that meditation could be integrated into daily life. This practice allows him to understand his own inner workings, leading to clear insight and freedom from suffering. Coleman committed himself fully to the course. In fact, he was overly zealous about it, dedicating a significant amount of time to taking notes and analyzing every aspect of the practice. Clearly, he still wasn't any closer to quieting his mind. Krishnamurti: One day, Krishnamurti's brother, Nityananda, died. Despite his profound grief,...

  Satipaṭṭhāna Meditation Guide  The Direct Path to Mindfulness and Liberation Introduction “This is the direct path for the purification of beings, for overcoming sorrow and lamentation, for the disappearance of pain and grief, for the attainment of the true path, and for the realization of Nibbāna.” Core Instruction: “Ekāyano ayaṁ maggo…” — This is the one and only way for the purification of beings. I. Contemplation of the Body ( Ānāpānasati / Kāyānupassanā ) Acknowledging the body as it is—impermanent, composite, and not-self. Philosophical Grounding The body is not a self but a composite of impersonal processes governed by impermanence ( anicca ), unsatisfactoriness ( dukkha ), and non-self ( anattā ). Mindfulness of the body cultivates grounded awareness and forms the base for deeper insight. Psychological angle: Anchoring attention to the body stabilizes the mind and develops interoceptive awareness. Meditation Instructions Mindfulness of Bre...

  The difference between happiness and well-being lies in scope, depth, and sustainability: Happiness Typically refers to a momentary emotional state —feeling pleasure, joy, or contentment. It is subjective , often based on external events or mood. Think of happiness as the weather —it can change quickly. Well-being A broader, more comprehensive concept that includes happiness but also encompasses: Life satisfaction Purpose and meaning Positive relationships Personal growth and achievement Resilience and mental health It reflects the quality and balance of one’s overall life, like the climate , stable over time. Martin Seligman, a key figure in positive psychology, proposed the PERMA model of well-being: P ositive emotions (including happiness) E ngagement (flow) R elationships M eaning A ccomplishment So while happiness is one part of well-being, well-being is the richer, longer-lasting pursuit of a fulfilling life.   “Hap...

This topic taps into the fascinating dance between mindfulness and neuroscience. The human brain is not naturally wired to live in the present moment . Instead, it defaults to what’s called the Default Mode Network (DMN) , which is more about mental time travel —thinking about the past, anticipating the future, or engaging in self-referential thought (like inner monologues, daydreams, or worrying). This network comprises areas like the medial prefrontal cortex, posterior cingulate cortex, and angular gyrus.   While the DMN plays a crucial role in constructing our sense of self and enabling complex cognitive functions, its dominance can lead to excessive mind-wandering and rumination, which are often linked to stress and anxiety. The DMN kicks in when you’re not focused on a specific external task .  It includes regions like the medial prefrontal cortex , posterior cingulate cortex , and parts of the parietal lobe .  It’s heavily associated with:  Mind-wandering,...